Do you ever feel like you do all you can for someone you
truly love and yet it somehow doesn’t seem like they are getting what they
need? I know that this is something I struggle with. Have you ever felt like
you aren't getting what you need from someone you KNOW loves you? How do you
make the people you care for most FEEL that they are cared for and loved? How
do you ensure that you are satisfied emotionally in your relationships as well?
Communication. The answer is communication. My momma has
always told me that in life you need to tell people what you want and how
you are feeling. {No problem. I normally wear my emotions on my sleeve!}
However, when it comes to telling people what you need in order to feel loved, it just becomes so much more complicated for me. How do you say “you’re
not loving me like I need to be loved” or “I need you to do this more so that I
feel emotionally cared for” in a way that isn't “YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING
WRONG?”
Last year I read the “The 5 Love Languages” and was
enthralled by how accurately something so basic could describe how I love and
want to be loved. I would recommend this book whole heatedly. Regardless of
the stage you are in in life, I’m sure that this book will be an interesting
and enlightening experience. Even if you don’t read the book, I recommend that
you determine your love language.
What are The 5 Love Languages?
Adapted from The Five Love Languages: Love Language Profile.
Accessed May 18, 2014. Click
Here
My Love Language Personal Profile
Words of Affirmation
|
“Actions
don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language,
unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love
you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits
skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You
thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.”
|
6
|
Quality
Time
|
”In
Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being
there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV
off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel
truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure
to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time
talking with someone else or doing activities
together,
you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.”
|
8
|
Receiving
Gifts
|
“Don’t
mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on
the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this
language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared
for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to
you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so
would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of
someone else’s love and affection for you.”
|
1
|
Acts of
Service
|
“Can
helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything
you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of
Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear:
“Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work
for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When
others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and
loved.”
|
5
|
Physical Touch
|
“A person whose primary language is
Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and
thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement,
concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial,
while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and
timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.”
|
10
|
Adapted from The Five Love Languages: Love Language Profile.
Accessed May 18, 2014. Click
Here
Reading this book and taking the quiz helped me determine
that my primary love language is physical touch. There is nothing in this world
I love more than a hug after an absence {no matter how long or how brief},
holding hands in public, and being playfully nudged while standing in line. I
also felt that this experience helped me EXPRESS WHAT I NEEDED IN A LOVING
MANNER. Instead of “I don’t feel loved,” I was able to say “I feel really loved
when you hug me like that.” IT HAS DONE WONDERS. The most important thing I
gleaned from this was that when an argument occurs with someone I love
{inevitable}, I don’t feel that the issue has been resolved until we have “hugged
it out.”
I know that if my sweet man would complete the quiz, he would find it helpful too... {Even though I suspect his love language is Words of Affirmation}
